I'm Losing My Mind

I’m Losing My Mind

Today’s blog is not a fun or easy one to write. Back in January 2017 I was diagnosed with dementia most likely early onset Alzheimer’s disease and have been going slowly crazy since it happened. I’m only in my late 30’s and had no idea this would ever be a possibility in my life. I feel like my life is over. Read more

My Drug Addiction

My Drug Addiction

Drug addiction is not a problem that anyone expects to have to have deal with in life. Nobody wakes up one day and says hey I think today will be the day that I throw my life away. I know that I certainly did not expect this to happen to me, especially with my past, yet here I am today. It’s a tough subject, but an important one. Read more

Handling a Divorce Properly

Handling a Divorce Properly

We can not deny that marriages that have a disability or long term illness involved have a higher rate for divorce than those that do not. It is a simple, but unfortunate fact of reality. Dealing with these added issues is stressful, and sometimes love alone is not enough to overcome the stresses of life. I’ve seen messy divorces from hell that should have been cut and dry. I’ve also seen divorces go as smoothly as a knife through butter because those people chose to act like adults and keep their priorities in order without letting their personal anger get in the way of controlling them. It’s a matter of respect, and you should definitely have respect for someone that you at one point made a choice to dedicate sharing your life with. Naturally this does not apply to situations where abuse has been a factor in your marriage. You can not respect what has not been shown respect. Read more

Why I'm Always Grateful

Why I’m Always Grateful

I get asked a lot why or how I can be so happy. The truth is that I’m not always happy and I definitely have my moments of bitterness at life. What you see is my being grateful for the life I have today. A life I never dreamed was possible as young poor kid growing up in New York. I didn’t grow up in what anybody would consider a good neighborhood. We were surrounded by gangs and drugs. We lived separately from my father while he was stationed elsewhere and spent summers together with a few short weeks with him during the school year. I’m grateful to see my children all day every day. My father is an alcoholic, my mother abused pain killers at the end of her life, and my twin was an addict who was killed from gang affiliated violence at 16. I’m grateful to never have taken drugs or felt the need to get drunk constantly to face life. I am grateful to have always had a dream to work towards since childhood and to have achieved it. That dream was taken from me with my accident, but I survived. I went from having my dream job and success to having every possible dream in my life come true despite my disabilities. Read more

What is Attraction and Beauty

What is Attraction and Beauty?

What is beauty and how do we define it? Is it a group of physical characteristics? Is it the heart of someone that makes them beautiful? Is it a certain size or body type? Society places an enormous amount of importance on the physical appearance. Of course we all want to be considered attractive, but the phrase beauty is in the eye of the beholder is completely true. Beauty is like fine art and is subjective to one’s own personal tastes. Read more

WHO, WHAT, and HOW vs. WHY? (Now there’s a vague heading)

WHO, WHAT, and HOW vs. WHY? (Now there’s a vague heading)

I suppose this first one’s for me. I’ll take it.

Like every other wisdom-toting, hot-shot twenty-five year old, I have a story to tell. Perhaps coincidentally, as I find myself approaching the 6 year mark of paralysis (having confessed my spinal cord injury testimonial to sweet little old ladies, church prayer circles, pseudo-concerned college professors, and awkward first date subjects ad nauseam) I also find myself stumbling upon a platform. Regardless of its size or prominence, I have a platform. Not a platform of authority, reverence, or of fortuitous counsel (not yet the wheelchair-yoda I aspire to one day be), but one of interested and empathetic eyes that I may have never been privileged to reaching otherwise. Read more

Dating as a Teen With a Disability

Dating as a Teen With a Disability

Hi everyone! It is Isabella again! Today I would like to talk about what it is like to date and meet people as a teenager with a disability. It is hard to have self confidence when you are a teenager. Why is everybody so dang mean? It is really hard to have high self esteem in a world full of people putting you down constantly. Read more

The Cost of a Disability on a Marriage

The Cost of a Disability on a Marriage

Being married while dealing with disabilities on both sides is hard, extremely hard. I think I have made it clear that I love my wife more than life itself, but on those weeks of steroids for her treatments it’s like we need an exorcist. This for the sweetest woman alive! Steroid rage is real and it is not pretty. She will go from calm, to crying uncontrollably, to finally breaking dishes and anything within reach. Thank you Prednisone, you are making lives hell on a daily basis for millions of people. A friend of mine whose wife also has undergone chemo treatments calls it, “Steroids, I swear to God this woman secretly hates me”. It’s that bad, but I love this woman, no matter how many dishwashers she kills. That is only dealing with one side effect. Read more

I Do Have Sex With That Man and Thank You for Asking!

I Do Have Sex With That Man and Thank You for Asking!

WARNING: This article contains adult content and may not be suitable for younger readers.

Everyone and their grandmother has an odd fascination with my sex life. This is not only offensive, but annoying as all get out. Do you have sex? Yes and it’s good too! I’ve had men ask me with the intention of “fulfilling that need” that is obviously missing in my life. I’m not sure how you missed the baby on my hip screaming in your face to back off. What is wrong with these people? First of all I’m married so you need to respect that. I’d really like to know why it is always some creepy fugly guy who you just know lives in his parent’s basement too. Point blank no! Not even if I was single and you were the last human being on earth, I still would not have sex with you! I have standards for men and they are quite high. Why are you asking about my sex life? Why??? Read more

My Definition of Love

My Definition of Love

What is love? If you ask my wife she will tell you that love is not a feeling or something tangible, but that love is a verb or an act. To me love means acceptance without conditions or judgment. Obviously there are various types of love, but they all boil down to that basic principle. There is no but when it comes to love. For instance friends we had who were as close as family, but then we sustained an injury or long term illness and into the wind they vanished. I believe that if you truly love someone then you will always wish the best for them even if situations change and you go your separate ways. Read more