To My Future Significant Other

To My Future Significant Other

To my future significant other: On love or something like it in a disabled and abled partnership Read more

Marriage Rules

Marriage Rules

Rules for a successful happy marriage from the male perspective

I may have only been married for one year, but what a roller coaster year it has been. I’ve made mistakes, huge mistakes, and I am learning from them. I’ve had great successes as well. I want to please my wife in every aspect of life. I want to be a partner to her, not a ring on her finger. There are several things I have learned over the past year that have spun my head around. Who knew being married would be so wonderful and confusing at the same time? I obviously didn’t, or I wouldn’t have been so confused when I made a comment and my wife’s head did this weird exorcist type of maneuver. I was waiting for the pea soup to come flying out of her mouth. It was much worse than that. She told me it was “fine”. If you’re not married you may not know that fine is nowhere in the ballpark of fine. Fine coming from your very angry woman means you better sleep with one eye open while you’re out camping in the dog house. I don’t know what you did to deserve the “fine”, but you better fix it and fast. Read more

Marriage Special Needs Parents

The Key to a Strong Marriage as Special Needs Parents

A Love Like No Other

“Daddy’s on the iPad!”, Gunnar yells from the living room. Roa squeals from his Childrite chair. I’m in the middle of getting bedtime snacks ready in the kitchen, as Bryan calls to “Facetime” with us. My hair is frizzed, all traces of makeup have been erased from my face, and dark circles ring my eyes. Yet I go running to the couch to catch up with my prince.

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Sex after an SCI

Sex After a Spinal Cord Injury

WARNING: This article contains adult content and may not be suitable for younger readers.

Sex! You mean you it still works?

This topic is usually brought up with the standard preface of “Can I ask you a personal question?”. Followed quickly by “Can you still have sex?”. OF COURSE WE CAN! People with disabilities are too often seen as completely asexual individuals that should have no desire to be intimate with another person. Well duh! I mean why would you if you can’t feel it? Ah…the normies crack me up! Sexual activity is perfectly normal, healthy, and needed in a relationship. Unfortunately, sex after a spinal cord injury is rarely discussed. The largest obstacle to achieving a gratifying sexual relationship post SCI is communication. Be open with your partner about your needs and spice things up a bit! Candles, massage oils, music, dirty talk, toys, and lingerie can go a very long way. Read more

Disability Dating

Happy Valentine’s Day

Oh Valentine’s Day the holiday of love, when we all splurge on flowers, cards, candies and other gifts for our loved ones, friends and the other important people in our lives. Whether you are a fan of this holiday or not, there are a few things that I would like to share with you. The first is a heartwarming photo of Jeff Roulston and his wife sharing a hug in his standing frame. Many of our customer stories, including Jeff’s, have wonderful photos of wheelchair users and their loved ones! Read more

Special Needs Dads

Involving Dads in the Life of Their Special Needs Child

Fathers play an important role in their child’s development. Research studies show that dads not only challenge their children to do more, but also help build language skills. Many dads have wonderful relationships with their children, but some dads have difficulty connecting with their child who has a disability. In this article we’ll learn some of the reasons why this happens plus a few strategies for getting dads to take a more active role in their child’s life.

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Being Pregnant in a Wheelchair

Podcast #74 – Pregnant On Wheels

In episode #74 of No Free Rides, I talk with the paralyzed and pregnant Mimi Emery, a favorite guest of our show, who’s baby was also fathered by a paraplegic. This baby is going to be amazing!

Mimi and I discuss some very unique spinal cord injury + pregnancy issues, from planning a natural home birth when you’re paralyzed to conceiving when you’re a paralyzed male, without the assistance of expensive equipment. We also discuss Mimi’s new possible reality show!

To listen to the podcast, click play below! (Intended for mature audiences only.)

Podcast #74 – Pregnant on Wheels

Like this interview with Mimi? Listen to my July, 2010 Podcast #67 Mimi Emery – Fierce, Canadian, paralyzed!

Heather Sisters 2009

Disability and Relationships: There Are No Limitations

Growing up in a busy household where bickering echoed off the walls was a normal part of my childhood. There was never a dull moment living with seven other people. But as much as there was sibling rivalry and arguing it was undeniable that there was love, one could see that even looking through our windows. Living amidst my family taught me the importance of relationships, and how each person brought out different qualities that I liked in myself or those I despised.

I remember the first time I caught a semblance of understanding in regards to engaging with another human being. It was the beginning of spring when I held my youngest sister, Mandy for the first time. I sat at our kitchen table holding the newest member of our brood staring into the brownness of her eyes. Feeling her in my arms soothed me in ways I couldn’t describe but I knew I was happy and wallowed in the connection I was developing with this tiny spirit. At the age of ten, I wasn’t sure why it felt so good to love another person but what a sensational feeling it was.

My sisters and I had a unique bond with each other that evolved quite naturally. My relationship with each one of my five genetic counterparts taught me many things, one of which was trust. Balanced in trust with another being was vital to my relationships much like the pumping of blood is to a healthy heart.

My parents instilled this trust virtue with lessons that taught us about values, morals, and the rules of life. Even with these worthy lessons from my parents, I managed to make a myriad of mistakes, which proved to be grounds for learning. Many, many, many lessons later I figured out it wasn’t necessarily the punishment I received (maybe it was half) that taught me, it was the trusting relationship I had with my parents that truly made me want to be a better person.

As I ventured into adulthood there were arguments, moments of closeness, and unfortunate instances that affected my intimate relationships. Luckily, because of the trust and love present in my world, I was able to survive emotionally, physically, and financially during times that encapsulated my worst nightmares. I broke my neck at the age of 18, lost one of my best friends at age 30, lost my cousin at the age of 32, and at the age of 34, heard the incredulous brain cancer diagnosis of my four month old nephew. Read more