Posts

Love is Not an Ability

Love is Not an Ability

Hi everyone it’s Isabella! I have been struggling with a lot of really hard issues in my life recently with my dad having a new illness. I have cried and prayed a lot. It has been very hard since I learned that my dad has dementia. I wrote him a letter when I was angry and scared. I used a lot of curse words and I’m not proud of that. I wanted my dad to hear me and understand that he can’t give up on us. I do not want my parents to get a divorce. My mom does not want a divorce. My dad is giving up on us. It’s really hard and really scary. I’m not scared of my dad having dementia. I am sad for him that this is happening. I know he is scared too, but leaving us is not going to help protect us from it. Read more

What I Want Parents to Understand

What I Want Parents to Understand

Hi everyone it’s Isabella! There has been so much drama and change in my life in the last 5 years. My parents for the most part have been the most amazing parents in the world. I love my dad even though he has made some really bad choices recently. There are some things I want to say to all parents whether you or your child has a disability or not because it’s not an excuse. Read more

Love Notes

Love Notes

Love Notes.

They are the best. Cute little misspelled scribbles from my boy. There’s misshaped hearts and smiling faces, scribbles where mistakes were made. Read more

Why I'm Always Grateful

Why I’m Always Grateful

I get asked a lot why or how I can be so happy. The truth is that I’m not always happy and I definitely have my moments of bitterness at life. What you see is my being grateful for the life I have today. A life I never dreamed was possible as young poor kid growing up in New York. I didn’t grow up in what anybody would consider a good neighborhood. We were surrounded by gangs and drugs. We lived separately from my father while he was stationed elsewhere and spent summers together with a few short weeks with him during the school year. I’m grateful to see my children all day every day. My father is an alcoholic, my mother abused pain killers at the end of her life, and my twin was an addict who was killed from gang affiliated violence at 16. I’m grateful to never have taken drugs or felt the need to get drunk constantly to face life. I am grateful to have always had a dream to work towards since childhood and to have achieved it. That dream was taken from me with my accident, but I survived. I went from having my dream job and success to having every possible dream in my life come true despite my disabilities. Read more

A Conversation With My Daughter's Boyfriend

A Conversation With My Daughter’s Boyfriend

I was sitting and talking with Bella’s boyfriend and he had several questions to ask my about injury. This young boy has recently turned 17 and is quite mature for his age. He asked me if I could describe the feeling of paralysis and I had him do the finger experiment. He asked about various sensation levels. He asked if it felt anything like you’d experience with a limb falling asleep with the pins and needles sensations. Before all of this he asked me if it would be okay to have an open conversation about my SCI. He has a genuine fascination with all things medical and wants to follow in his mother’s footsteps and become a veterinarian. Read more

I Do Have Sex With That Man and Thank You for Asking!

I Do Have Sex With That Man and Thank You for Asking!

WARNING: This article contains adult content and may not be suitable for younger readers.

Everyone and their grandmother has an odd fascination with my sex life. This is not only offensive, but annoying as all get out. Do you have sex? Yes and it’s good too! I’ve had men ask me with the intention of “fulfilling that need” that is obviously missing in my life. I’m not sure how you missed the baby on my hip screaming in your face to back off. What is wrong with these people? First of all I’m married so you need to respect that. I’d really like to know why it is always some creepy fugly guy who you just know lives in his parent’s basement too. Point blank no! Not even if I was single and you were the last human being on earth, I still would not have sex with you! I have standards for men and they are quite high. Why are you asking about my sex life? Why??? Read more

My Definition of Love

My Definition of Love

What is love? If you ask my wife she will tell you that love is not a feeling or something tangible, but that love is a verb or an act. To me love means acceptance without conditions or judgment. Obviously there are various types of love, but they all boil down to that basic principle. There is no but when it comes to love. For instance friends we had who were as close as family, but then we sustained an injury or long term illness and into the wind they vanished. I believe that if you truly love someone then you will always wish the best for them even if situations change and you go your separate ways. Read more

Treating My Wheelchair-Using Self to Some Kindness

Treating my Wheelchair-Using Self to Some Kindness

The world can be a big scary place, and when you’re on four wheels it can be even scarier. People may treat us nicer because of our disabilities, but that doesn’t mean we don’t need to give ourselves a little TLC every now and then. Read more

Why I’m Thankful This Year

Thanksgiving is one of my favorite holidays. Great food, good times with family, and a reason to look back and think of all of the reasons I have in my life to be thankful. Once again my family was faced with huge changes this year. My wife battled lymphoma not once, but twice. It transformed into a much more aggressive cancer and we had to face the possibility of no longer having her with us once again, but she beat it after a long hard battle with chemo. I had a heart attack, a pacemaker put in me, and a spinal fusion. I have 3 beautiful healthy screaming daughters and our family is complete. My life is blessed. I am no longer wondering daily what the doctor will say tomorrow. We still face the check ups and getting to that 5 year remission mark, but I know if anyone can do it then it’s my wife. I’ve cut a lot of drama from my life this year by removing people who were not interested in me as a person, but only what I could do for them as a person. I am now home schooling my children full time and able to spend time helping them grow and to learn. Bella is now caught up academically to other children her age is now in the 10th grade. As terrifying as that thought is I could not be more proud of her. Tay has decided to become a “rabbit rancher” this year and has 2 giant Flemish rabbits of her own. She also moved out of her bedroom and into her playhouse in the playroom. I didn’t get the memo that 5 was the new 18. These kids grow up so quickly don’t they? My baby Olivia has taken her first steps and is well on her way from turning from my only baby and into a big little girl.I know that soon I won’t be able to catch up to her or escape her tiny terrorism, what is going on with baby teeth? All I can say is thank you Jesus for letting me survive this first year of parenting a baby. Teenagers and toddlers have nothing on an infant. They own you and they know it. I am so thankful to have been blessed to have been driven crazy by the sounds of those screams. Nothing could have prepared me for the changes that were brought into my life this past year. Some were wonderful, some were devastating, but I am thankful to be able to say that I have a true selfless love in my life that helped to guide me through them all. I don’t know where I would be in this world without my family, but I know that I would have a lot less to be thankful for in life.  Read more

Sex After SCI: The Male Perspective

Sex After SCI: The Male Perspective

Sex.. Yep we’re talking about it again. My wife is making me write this because she feels that it’s important to get a man’s point of view. It’s a little embarrassing considering I am personal friends with my publisher at EasyStand. She’s like my little sister. Sorry kid, you shouldn’t need to read these things. Don’t throw stuff at me! Read more