I have several important anniversaries in my life both happy and sad. There is my wedding anniversary around corner that will make it 4 years since my family became official. It’s been 8 years since I’ve met my wife and oldest daughter. I can’t believe it’s been 2 years since Tay was adopted. This year year will mark 20 years since I lost my twin brother Mikey to drugs and violence. It’s been a year since my mother’s passing and days since my father-in-laws. It’s been a year since my baby was born and months since my niece lost her battle to NHL There are the numerous anniversaries of pregnancies and miscarriages. It’s been 2 years since I lost one of my best friends to suicide. It’s been 3 years since my wife began fighting for life against cancer and a little over 3 months since she was diagnosed as in remission. I’ll be turning 36 in a few months and I’ve noticed that I have way too many anniversaries for my age. As the first decade anniversary of my injury quickly approaches it’s once again that time for that personal reflection. Read more
As prom season approaches I have to hold my breath and prepare for the inevitable headlines. “FRIEND TAKES DISABLED FRIEND TO PROM!” This is what I and others in the disabled community refer to as inspiration porn. It’s a little bit of a stark term, I know and that is because it’s one way to bring across the point of objectivizing disabled individuals. It’s everywhere. I’ve been known to use the term “comparison” a lot, and once again, I get comments asking for further clarification. This, in my opinion, is how you can determine whether or not you’re sharing something that may make someone uncomfortable: Read more
There’s some things that I as someone with several disabilities need to give myself credit for. I touched on this briefly in my last article, about how sometimes little victories can cost a lot more than we in the disabled community realize. Now, keep in mind that when I talk about my struggles I’m not looking for a game of comparisons or to be someone’s inspiring gimp of the week. I’m just giving myself and my fellow crippled punks, credit where credit is due. There are days where I struggle to get out of bed, but I do it anyway. I transfer in and out of my wheelchair by myself despite the winces and groans that I may utter. When my hands refuse to listen to what I want them to do, I put on my socks. Read more
Yeah it’s hard…
Sometimes I find myself drifting away, staring at the wall, thinking of things that I know I have no control over and that I cannot change. It’s difficult to be in a position where you’re so vulnerable to others and in which your privacy is gone; where the only place that feels safe and comfortable is inside yourself. I have trouble sometimes dealing with this whole situation. There are times where all I do is direct and tell people what to do. In fact that’s my life. I didn’t sign up to be a manager of others starting at 16 years old. Sometimes trying my best doesn’t seem good enough to me. I think I’m my own worst critic. Read more
There is no shortage of amazing women in wheelchairs in this world. These strong women have the power to motivate us and meeting one even helped lift my depression in the initial phase of my injury. There are women I’ve known about for years, like Auti Angel and Wendy Crawford, both paralyzed who’ve went on to do some amazing things, and then there are the new women I’m constantly discovering whenever everyday online. There’s always another amazing woman out there to learn more about.
Here are two such inspirational women: One woman, an ex model and actress who’s inspired me for years and the other, a wife and violinist, who I just discovered last week. Read more