A Letter to My Dad After His Dementia Diagnosis

A Letter to My Dad After His Dementia Diagnosis

Dear Daddy,

It’s your Jellybelly Bella. I am so proud of you and so sad at the same time. I don’t wanna believe it’s true. I know it is though because you and Mom wouldn’t lie to me. I need to tell how you how I feel in case one day I don’t have that opportunity. I won’t forget Daddy. I will never forget a second of having a real father. You always worried that your disability would ruin my life but I proved you wrong. It made me a better person. That was you Daddy and no disease can ever take that away from us. We’re not gonna give up on you. We’re never gonna do that Daddy. I don’t care what happens you will always be my Daddy and the best dad ever.

You told me why you are divorcing Mom. It doesn’t make sense Daddy. Mom is never going to be happy without you. That’s not what family does. You taught me that and now you’re gonna do it? Don’t do it Daddy.

I know you’re gonna lose more memories but it won’t change mine. It won’t make me feel different. I know it’s going to be hard but I know my dad. You are stronger than this Dad. I know you’re reading this thinking oh God people are gonna think my kid can’t speak english. I don’t give a flying f*ck what people think right now.

Daddy you did everything for me since I was little before you and Mom got married. You never made me feel like your girlfriend’s kid. I was your kid. It wasn’t some other guy at my soccer and basketball games. It was you and you didn’t have to be there. You and Mom weren’t even dating then. I was still your kid! Do you think I’ll ever forget that?

I’m gonna be 16 soon. You promised me you would take me back to Florida and teach me to drive where we first lived. Remember that dad? You’re gonna do it! I’m gonna get my license because of you Dad. You don’t even know everything you taught me either in a class or out. You taught me my disability didn’t make me less of a person when the other kids were mean to me. Why the hell would you be different? If you don’t remember me then we can meet every day and you won’t be mad about the trouble I got into yesterday.

I don’t wanna hear how much you love us! WE KNOW DAD! I’ve heard it for 8 years now show me! You ain’t quitting us Dad. You don’t get that choice! You will be there walking me down the aisle and my sisters too. When Mom was sick you said if you can’t walk I’ll carry you. I’ll push you Daddy and I will never stop. You are giving up before the fight starts. That’s not my Dad! Be my dad damn it! Are you telling me you lied to me my whole life? You’re going to let Alzheimer’s tell you how to live? My dad is no bitch so get up daddy! Get up and fight for us!

No disability is taking you from me Daddy. It might take your memories, but it’s not taking you. You already lost memories. So what Dad? Tell me how this is really different. Tell me Dad! The only difference is you’re checking out staring me in the face. FU Dad! You taught me to fight for a reason and I will fight to keep you Dad!

1 reply
  1. Karen Mathurin
    Karen Mathurin says:

    I’ll say a prayer for you Isabella, your Dad and for your family! God bless! O:)

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