What is beauty and how do we define it? Is it a group of physical characteristics? Is it the heart of someone that makes them beautiful? Is it a certain size or body type? Society places an enormous amount of importance on the physical appearance. Of course we all want to be considered attractive, but the phrase beauty is in the eye of the beholder is completely true. Beauty is like fine art and is subjective to one’s own personal tastes.
I personally am attracted to tall dark pretty boys with a little bit of a rough edge to them. I am living with that stereotype and even after more than four years of marriage it is a struggle to keep my hands off of him when I see that smile. While physical attraction is important so is a connection on a deeper level. I believe that true beauty lies on the inside and an ugly heart can make someone appear completely different to you than at first glance. The opposite can also be true as well. Someone that you may have considered to be average looking before getting to know them may now be highly attractive because of their personality.
Everyone seems to have their preferences in what they find instantly attractive and that doesn’t make us shallow. It makes us human. It can be hard to not take it personally if someone that you’re really into does not find you attractive, but it may be nothing more than you simply were not their type. I’ve seen many of my husband’s friends complain that their wheelchair stops them from getting a date. I agree that may be a factor in certain situations, but it’s not the reason for all of them. I hate hearing that used as an excuse and I will certainly call them out on it when it’s brought up in my presence. How can you expect to date a woman who is in perfect shape and your physical ideal and then become angry that she’s not interested in someone with a beer gut who hasn’t had a hair cut in 6 months too? If you dropped out of high school because education wasn’t your thing would you expect someone who put in the time to get a graduate degree to seek you out as their perfect mate? No, but you don’t mind calling them shallow or conceited when they say no thank you.
I’ve also seen it from women and even on Facebook where women mention that they get hit on, but not by attractive men. Someone will find those men attractive even if it’s not you. If you’re not attracting the type of partner you’re seeking you need to ask yourself if you’re the type of person they will also be looking for too. You wouldn’t date someone that you do not find attractive so why would you expect them to feel any differently. That’s not the wheelchair or disability speaking for you, that’s you not putting out there what you expect to get back.