WARNING: This article contains adult content and may not be suitable for younger readers.
Everyone and their grandmother has an odd fascination with my sex life. This is not only offensive, but annoying as all get out. Do you have sex? Yes and it’s good too! I’ve had men ask me with the intention of “fulfilling that need” that is obviously missing in my life. I’m not sure how you missed the baby on my hip screaming in your face to back off. What is wrong with these people? First of all I’m married so you need to respect that. I’d really like to know why it is always some creepy fugly guy who you just know lives in his parent’s basement too. Point blank no! Not even if I was single and you were the last human being on earth, I still would not have sex with you! I have standards for men and they are quite high. Why are you asking about my sex life? Why???
“Is your sex life boring because he’s paralyzed“? What kind of sex are you people having that this even a question? You’re friends with that guy who once tried to impress me by telling me he’s had sex in all 3 positions aren’t you? Sadly enough that is a true story. I spent the first half of the dinner insulted that he would publicly speak about such subjects. The second half was spent wondering what were these “all 3” positions he spoke of that night. God bless that woman for not pulling a Kanye and letting him finish with those kinds of skills. I no longer wondered why the successful cute lawyer was single and apparently sexless. I never did figure out what those 3 positions were, but you won’t find me walking up to his wife one day and asking her either. Learn some social etiquette!
Yes we do have sex and a lot of it. It’s amazing sex, and yes we do all 3 positions and about 20 more that apparently do not exist. I feel sorry for you that your sex life sucks so badly that you think it’s anywhere close to appropriate to ask about mine. I even have sympathy for you. I promise I’ll say a prayer for you later when I’m done praying for the patience not to slap you. For now will you simply get out of my face before people think we’re together? I married the hot one for a reason. Thank you.