In the past few years I have learned the importance of a positive attitude in life. I always seek out the lessons to be learned from tragedy and my mistakes. But life isn’t all sugar and sweetness no matter how many times I want to see it that way. What has my accident taken away from me? A lot.
I don’t want to worry about the what if. Once the what if happens your life is forever changed. Forget carefree, because suddenly the world is a dangerous place. As a father there are days I question my ability to be a great parent to my children. I want to chase them in the surf at the ocean. I want to climb trees and see my wife rolling her eyes while we act like monkeys. I want to carry screaming kids, juggle a phone conversation, and root through the cabinets all at once. I want to run down the hall because my toddler fell. I want to watch my child swim and know that if something happens I can save her on my own.
You lose a lot of self confidence once you’re faced with the dreaded what if. People automatically view you differently when faced with the wheelchair. You’re a hero or a pitied soul. No, I’m just a dad and a husband. Why can’t some people see that? I know people are naturally curious, but some days I get tired of the questions. I try not to let my frustrations show, because I don’t think people mean to be insensitive. I now see the reasoning behind the saying curiosity killed the cat. Just kidding! Some days… I wish there was a magic potion to regain that self confidence. I want to feel like I am physically capable of being everything for my family.