We're All Settling Somehow

We’re All Settling Somehow

I loved Tiffiny’s recent blog about never settling in a relationship, but the truth is that in some form we are settling because there is no such thing as the perfect partner. They are perfect in our eyes. The fact is that there is no single person that is going to check every single box and not have some super annoying quality that makes you want to punch them in the throat. I am constantly questioned as to why I settled for my husband when he has a disability and has a few other issues. Do I feel that I settled? Absolutely not, but there were definitely things that neither one of us thought we would be facing in a relationship as far as dealing with physical issues. He hadn’t planned on dating a single mother and I hadn’t planned on dating someone with a disability. It’s a bit funny when we look back on the last few years and see how the roles have reversed with 2 more children and my fighting multiple battles with cancer, relapses, and a brand new type that then transformed. You’re going to settle in some way or form, but you should never settle in certain areas.

Love is not the only thing necessary to keep a relationship intact, but it’s definitely needed. If you don’t know with fairly frequent dates within 9 months to a year of dating it’s never going to happen. Love does take time to develop. Obviously you want the real thing and not the 2-weeks-in premature I love you that will end a relationship instantly. Do not ever compromise on your feelings. If you do not feel like you’re the most important person in their life you probably are not. Is that someone that you want to be with?

Do not tolerate or accept any type of disrespect or abuse in a relationship. What they say about it being a pattern and only going downhill from there is definitely true. I’ve been there personally and a partner who can not respect you can not possibly love you. Once is too much and it’s time to go.

While I agree with the attitude of not settling for the right relationship, make sure that you’re not so demanding or picky that you’re sabotaging your own relationships because you’re afraid of having what you want. Everyone deserves a partner that makes them feel loved, special, and like a treasured priority.

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