I’ve been married just over two years now. It’s been a very rocky road with all of our combined health issues, raising a teen, adopting a toddler, and attempting to expand our family once again. How does all of that even happen in two years? It’s been crazy! How do we make it work with all of the craziness? Communication, taking time for our marriage, and being supportive.
Support is key to any relationship. Being supportive does not mean that I need to agree with every choice my partner makes. Being supportive sometimes means standing together for the good of your relationship. It’s okay to have different opinions and one person does not always need to be right. I don’t agree with my wife working so many hours, but I do support her need to help others. It’s not about me and it has nothing to do with not wanting to be with our family. She needs to help others.
Communication is what keeps us from killing each other. Sometimes there are conversations you want to avoid at all costs, but you have to have them. It’s important to know what your partner is thinking and feeling about major decisions being made in your home. It can be easy to allow a small disagreement to turn into a huge fight over absolutely nothing. Talk until you’re blue in the face and then talk some more until you reach a compromise.
In our home we have date nights scheduled. They don’t always work with kids, sports, work obligations, and family events that pop up at the last minute. Sometimes we need to settle for a slice of pizza and conversation or 15 minutes or hiding in the master bathroom because.. kids. The important part is that you have time to focus on you as a couple and not as mom and dad. This is much easier said than done.
Taking a few moments each day can mean everything in the chaos. A flower left on the table with a small note. A random text saying I miss you sent in the middle of rough day can change your entire attitude. If all you can grab is time to do the dishes together then take it. Maybe it’s that 20 minute wait at the doctor’s office. It’s not what you’re doing, it’s who it’s with that matters.