There can be many added stresses to a relationship from a disability. Many times a disabled partner will feel as though they are unequal in their relationship from their lack of abilities. There are partners who begin to resent their able bodied partners because they do not have limitations. If the injury or illness comes after a relationship has begun the stress can be worse. You find your world suddenly changed. Many able bodied partners will leave a relationship after such an accident has taken place. The fear of being a constant caregiver becomes overwhelming. While your physical disability will never go away, it need not become a disability in your relationship as well. Read more
How do you treat someone with a disability? A lot of people are unsure of how to handle this situation in public settings. It’s really not hard people. Treat them like you’d want to be treated. We’re not freaks of nature. We can hear when you talk about us instead of to us. We can answer for ourselves. Please don’t ask the person we’re with to speak our thoughts for us. That is probably my number one pet peeve in dealing with society. Talk to us at an age appropriate level. Most people are not bitter from a disability. We are bitter about being treated as though we can’t function at all. Read more
How do you talk to someone who uses a wheelchair? Just like you would anyone else! Read more
I’ve been married just over two years now. It’s been a very rocky road with all of our combined health issues, raising a teen, adopting a toddler, and attempting to expand our family once again. How does all of that even happen in two years? It’s been crazy! How do we make it work with all of the craziness? Communication, taking time for our marriage, and being supportive. Read more
“Hey, Roa! I’m so glad you’re home!”, I say as the school bus ramp is lowered.
Instantly, I get “the lip”. What is the lip, you ask? Well Roa has a way of protruding his lower lip and giving you the saddest eyes you have ever seen when he has an issue.
“What’s the problem?” I ask. Yet he can’t tell me. Not verbally at least. I go through the rundown of possible problems and offer him my thumbs for him to grab if I state the correct problem. Sometimes I guess right. Other times, my inability to identify the crisis leads to a sorrowful cry and tears a flowing. Read more
What’s in a Name?
A newborn name is researched, discussed, and carefully selected. A toddler’s nickname is lovingly given through character and personality traits. Teenager’s go through a time of self-discovery and pick the name they most identify with. Adulthood gives you the opening to surnames and titles that honor your journey through life. Read more
It happens every once in a while. Just your ordinary therapy session in progress when one word elicits an over-the-top theatrical wide-eyed gasp, disbelieving, as the hand comes up to the mouth just before the words escape. “WHAT?! What did you just say?! I’m sorry, but we don’t use that kind of language here.” And what triggers this response? A dirty, filthy, four-letter word. “Can’t.”
That word has no place around me. Say, “You’re crazy,” say, “This is hard,” say, “I’ll try, but I’m not sure what will happen,” but never ever say, “I can’t.” Read more
A while back I spoke with a nurse case manager about the need for a stander for her client. After a lengthy discussion about the individual’s medical justification; the nurse case manager informed me that standers turned into coat racks, and thus this payer program should not cover them. Further into my conversation with the nurse case manager, I found out that she had run into the “coat rack” situation one time on a home visit. There was no medical reasoning for the client not using the stander just that the client didn’t get around to it. This one incident of poor follow through, by one client, had a profound effect on the nurse case manager’s thoughts and decisions about standers for all of her clients. Read more