Independence. When you live with a disability, you strive for this more than anything else. You will do anything in your power to achieve even a small portion of what independence can deliver. Still, the fact remains that if you live with any type of disability, part of your independence has been taken away from you. Come to think of it, I don’t think there is anyone who has ever lived, with or without a disability, who has been spared from having some degree of their independence taken from them at one time or another in their lives.
The major question is not necessarily how much independence you have or can achieve, but what is possible with the help or assistance of others. We can all be stubborn from time to time, wanting to do whatever we possibly can by ourselves, alone. Trust me, I know. I may be one of the poster-children for stubbornness. However, I have also learned in my 26 years of being paralyzed and living with a disability that “asking for help,” is one of the most empowering acts one can ever experience. It’s not easy, but it sure is liberating.
I am always intrigued by our wanting to do so much for ourselves, knowing full well that all these people are around us on this thing called Earth. Our drive for independence is really quite frightening sometimes, considering how much more we can achieve by allowing others to help us. While I never like to solely blame our parents or those who brought us up, there is something to be said for the generations in which many of us grew up. They were not generations that fostered 
anything more than being as independent as possible. Now don’t get me wrong, there is something to be said for being independent and striving for independence, but when you take it to an extreme and practically isolate yourself, then we need to talk.
I believe that many of these generations gave us the impression that is a sign of weakness to ask for help to which I respond, “Why?” Why is it a sign or weakness or you being any less of a person to ask for assistance in certain situations? If you are having your needs met and getting to where you want to be in life with the assistance of others, does it really matter how you got there? I don’t believe so. There are some of my extended brothers and sisters with disabilities out there who must rely on the assistance of others for many, if not all of their physical undertakings. Does this make them weak or any less of a person. Absolutely not. These are some of the most courageous and internally strong people you will ever want to meet. While it is not their choice to be so dependent upon others, they realize in order to not only live, but live an extraordinary quality of life, they must ask for help and these must ask frequently.
Now if you are one who has the potential to be more independent but are relying on others, than this is a different story. If you are playing that “disability card” as I mentioned before and not putting forth the effort to make things happen in your life and are relying on others to get you places in life then you need to take a long, strong look into the mirror. This type of requesting for help is unhealthy and does not serve you. Yes, you are probably having your needs met in various ways, but you are underachieving in life and deep down, you want more, you deserve more.
70 years ago this month, an amazing individual was born into this world who has changed the world in so many ways. He is a man who was quite independent, but has become very dependent upon others because of a disability that not only affects his mobility, but also his speaking. This is a man who took seven minutes to not only sign his name when I requested his autograph, but a one line sentence that I think about every day. He wrote. “Service to others is the rent we pay for our space here on Earth.” This extraordinary individual is Muhammad Ali. Happy Birthday Champ and thanks for continuing to teach us so much about life.
We are not only here to help others, but we are also here to ask for help. By supporting those who need help, but also being individuals who request help when needed, we create a harmonious balance in this world that not only serves us and others, but allows us to set a great example to our children and future generations. Enjoy the journey!
How do you feel about asking for help? Does it depend on the situation?
Photo Courtesy: Mr Adam G
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