I never like posting depressing blogs, but ever since I heard about the suicide of a 31 year old quadriplegic form New Jersey, I haven’t been able to think of anything else. She broke her neck in a diving accident several years ago and recently passed after refusing food and medication.
She was an art teacher before her injury. After her injury, she was unable to 
move much from the shoulders down. If you read her blog, Life; Paralyzed, where you’ll find some of the most honest yet painful to read blogs about what it’s like to live with paralysis. Its hard to read, so watch out. She talks about how when after she became a quadriplegic, her self-criticism went into overdrive, and struggled with everything from being a private person before and needing to accept help with everything (I still struggle with it). She also suffered from what sounded like a nightmarish bowel program that caused autonomic dysreflexia.
I found her blog about romantic loneliness hard to read, when she blogged about watching her friends get married and having kids, while she watched from the sidelines. Part of me wished I had had a chance to shake her, and force her to see that joy was still possible. But then again I’ve never suffered from chronic pain..
You’re expected to get over it, swallow your memories of a very able and independent life when you become paralyzed and move ahead with your new one. But when the person in the car wants to get out, who are we to stop them?
What do you think is our responsibility in a suicidal situation?
Photo courtesy of Brian M. Forbes
Wow that is surprising. I didn’t hear about that. I’ve read her blog from time to time and agree that she seemed very conflicted and depressed about her SCI lifestyle. And that yes, she hated all aspects about her bowel program. I tend to dance around that subject in my SCI writing, since it is very private and frustrating aspect of this lifestyle, and I think you do to, so I give her credit for writing a few very detailed posts about it nonetheless. Hopefully, her blog will leave behind a teaching tool about the conflicted realities of the SCI lifestyle. Not all of us can deal with the SCI life well. Or as well as we can anyway.
Joy comes in all flavors. Its sad to see someone so young just choose to check out. I I could’ve given her my BP tips. Its really not that hard to manage once you know what to do.
Wow, that’s all I can say. What an honest and open look at the life she led and the way even a para has to give up so much dignity to live this life. Courageous and beautiful, may she rest in peace.
Thanks for sharing this story, Tiff. Wow, her writing is just amazing, and I got sucked into her blog last week. It is so sad that she saw no other way….but I would hope that others can learn from her writing. I wonder how far she got on her book.
You must read her blog to even come close to understanding her daily pain. In a sort of painful way, I enjoyed her artwork. It is so expressive and not to wear the word out , but painful. God bless her.