When The Easy Things Are Hard

In this strange strange world we live in, what’s easy, what should be easy, what’s hard, and what’s so difficult if you manage to do it it’s a miracle, can be vastly different depending on who you talk to. Mr. Muscle may think no big at leg pressing 600 lbs, but for some, they’d be ecstatic to leg press anything. And then we have the confronting-things-that-should-be-easy situation; the perhaps most frustrating aspect of an acquired disability.

If you don’t know what I’m talking about, let me give you an example: Let’s say you have Multiple Sclerosis, and eventually the disease progresses to the point where you loose the ability to grip your hands. You now struggle with anything that requires your hands. It takes several minutes to pick up cans of soda that have fallen to the floor, when before it would have only taken 20 seconds. How, in these moments, do we not get so pissed that we give up and run over every single can? How do we not get upset when everything takes several times as long?

When we deal with things that should be easy but aren’t anymore, the question is how do we not go crazy. The memories of how easy everything used to be remain. We remember how easy it was to slip in and out of a bath tub unaided, instead of taking 60 minutes to shower in a chair, with the help of an aide. We remember how easy it used to be get out of bed, to quickly slip your foot into a pair of shoes, and be off on an adventure. Is memory loss our only hope to find peace?

No, what it takes is good old fashioned patience. If you want to not only survive but be happy, true patience is your best friend, and your only solace. Its been almost 20 years since my injury and my journey to accept my lowered cache of abilities, and I still struggle everyday to muster as much patience as I can, to not let the red beastly anger monster get the better of me.

I don’t think I’ll ever get used to all I can’t do anymore. I don’t think a day will ever come where I no longer even feel a tinge of annoyance when I falter at a mundane daily activity. I want to say life is too short for the easy tings to be a struggle, that’s its not fair everything is so hard now, but who am I to expect A, B, and C out of life?  I may admit you’ll never be 100% ok with what you can’t do, but I have learned one beautiful thing: I am right. Life IS too short – and I’m lucky to be alive, no matter where my abilities lie.

Photo courtesy of Brian Donovan

Do you struggle with being patient and accepting your lowered cache of abilities?