Hello Friends! To all my fellow Dads out there and aspiring fathers, I wanted to wish you all a very Happy Father’s Day. Being a Dad in a wheelchair is the only thing I know and it is one of those titles in life of which I am most proud. More than anything it has taught me that Forrest Gump really was onto something when he said that “Life is like a box of chocolates…you never know whatcha gonna get!” Yeah, life is that way in general, but fatherhood or motherhood for that matter really captures the true essence of that statement.
It was about six years ago and my daughter Nia was nearing four years of age. My family and I were at a nearby mall and I realized that it was time for me to use the bathroom. “Please take Nia with you because she should go to the bathroom now as well,” my wife said. So Nia and I made our way through a Panera Bread restaurant and was told that the bathrooms were way in the back. Once we arrived at the men’s bathroom, Nia immediately said, ‘Daddy, your stall is open.” She knows that the wheelchair accessible stall is for us so we went in. I asked her to go first while I prepared to get my catherization kit out. Once she was finished I moved closer to the toilet and began to catherize.
Now let me preface what is about to transpire by informing you that whether you have a disability or not, you have no privacy when your kids are very young. They will come into the bathroom whenever they want no matter what it is you are doing, open up shower curtains just to let you know that they are there, etc. Now when I catherize at home, Nia use to like to hold the urinary bag where the urine empties into. She thought it was cool…this warm and squishy bag filled with pee. Anyway, it had become such a popular thing for her to do that she would normally invite her younger brother Ray to come and join her.
Well, fast forward back to the bathroom at Panera Bread, where her brother was not with us at this moment, when I am beginning to catherize. Now mind you, I am not sure how much talking is being done in the ladies’ bathroom, but in the men’s room, unless you are at a sporting event, there is no talking. You basically do your thing and get out of there. Well, in this moment of pure silence, my daughter yells, “Daddy, I want to hold IT! I want to hold IT now!” I looked at her in total shock with my eyes wide open, but no words came out of my mouth. I knew that she was talking about holding my urinary bag which just happened to be on the other side of where she was standing, but what did the seven other people in the bathroom think she wanted to hold?
I quickly flung the bag over to the other side so she would not yell again. Now she had her warm and squishy bag and was content. I, on the other hand, realized that I would have to see these people upon leaving the restaurant because by the time we left the stall, not one of them was still in the bathroom. When we made our way out of the bathroom and traveled through the entire restaurant, I saw those seven people who gave me looks of total disgust. I really thought that someone was going to have the cops waiting for me. We finally made our way out of the restaurant and when I told my wife the story of what happened, she fell on the ground, laughing hysterically. Again, life is like a box of chocolates!
Just last year, the family and I went to visit friends at the Jersey Shore. For all of those non-NJ folks, we are all not fist-pumping guidos…but there are many of them down there! Anyway, I have always been a beach and ocean lover and while being in a wheelchair limits my freedom there, I still like to take trips and more than anything, watch my kids have a blast! I usually have a friend or two either carry me onto the beach or I get into one of those chairs with the humungous wheels and a friend pushes me to where the gang is settled. Once we arrive at our spot I do a transfer into a regular beach chair with a proper cushion, good food and drink around, great friends, and of course, my family.
On this particular day, the kids were playing in and out of the ocean, just had finished lunch, and all of a sudden we heard a bell. “ICE CREAM,” all the kids yelled. So all of the kids quickly ran to their parents asking them if they can have some and dragged them over to where the ice cream man was to pay for them. My wife, Pratiksha, went over with our kids, so it was just me with about seven empty chairs and about six empty blankets around me. Lonely? Heck no. This was a moment of silence and solitude that I treasure, so I decided to recline my chair and fully embrace the moment.
Well, considering that my legs are not of normal weight and balance me upon my recline, I basically flipped all the way over and onto my back. I landed in the soft sand, flat on my back, with my legs hanging and now dangling over the chair up in the air. I was stuck. A couple of minutes went by. Let me remind you that everyone else was getting ice cream.
“Where’s Daddy,” I heard my kids ask which was followed up with loud belly-laughs by each of them. Neither one of them asked if I was alright or if I needed any help. Conversely they said, “Dad, we are going to eat our ice cream down by our sand castle, o-kay?” “Have fun,” I said with a huge grin on my face. Then Pratiksha asked, “What are you doing?” To which I responded, “Just felt like flipping over. Can I get a little help back up?” Yes Mr. Gump, life is like a box of chocolates. You never know whatcha gonna get!
Happy Father’s Day and enjoy the journey!
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