I am out on my weekly self appointed crusade to patrol the parking spots deemed worthy only for us wheeled class.
My first three stops: CVS, Staples and Wal-Mart. Wal-Mart, normally a Hedin of faux parkers is unusually quiet. With ample parking and no gawkers in sight, I decide to dismount.
Backing into a van accessible spot, out of nowhere, an unmanned shopping cart meanders in to my line of sight. I have now backed my van into the shopping cart which is now sandwiched between a concrete post and the back of my van. I have wounded my mount.
Unlike the other dents, caused by anonymous idiots who didn’t feel it their responsibility to stop and report their sin or at least leave a note on my window shield (which of course I am not able to reach.)
If they were literate and had the common courtesy to leave a note, it would most likely read:
Dear Handicapped Van Driver,
I am sure that you are most likely already bitter, having to still drive a pimped out MiniVan with your children all raised. True, most men of your socio- demo and economic class are driving Cobalt Blue Audi A2 convertibles. (Me, I drive a Benz.)
So me saying “sorry” is a waste of both of our time. You see, I need that time since I now must waddle into the store and stand in line to purchase the new “Gears of War” video game. It looks amazing on my 50 inch flat panel. You can’t believe what you can afford when you’re on public assistance. Now excuse me while I can still go and purchase a soda with my food stamps.
P.S. OK, I did hit your car, but don’t be a hater.
Signed: A large majority of today’s population
True, I am pissed, but I am also amazed that this individual could fit all this with no misspellings on a Popeye’s Chicken store receipt.
My final stop, Sam’s Club. The parking lot is three quarters empty. None of the handicapped spots are occupied, except for one. Parked DIAGONALLY across a Van accessible Handicapped Spot, clearly marked “FOR VANS ONLY,” is a 2009 Cobalt Blue Audi A2 Convertible.
The plate has none of the required handicapped logos. It’s a New Jersey Veterans of Foreign War’s Plate with a Purple Heart Insignia. There is also a sticker on the car’s bumper that reads, verbatim “Recipient of a Purple Heart.” Just to give them the benefit of the doubt, I wheel around to the front of the car. Bingo! No placard hanging from the front window either.
In Rehab and in life I’ve met several veterans and police officers who have been wounded while servicing duty. None of these individuals wanted to talk of their experiences or injuries without ample prodding. Even after much prodding these individuals still down play their contributions and hope to once again hide their wounds.
Now fuming, (I would also be frothing at the mouth too, but I was dehydrated from my dosage of Lasix) I retreat back into Crip Force One, disguising myself as one of the bucket seats, hoping to catch a glimpse of this individual. I wait about an hour. The parking lot empties and then once again fills, but still the Audi A2 convertible remains.
I decide to take this recon mission mobile, exiting the van and entering the store, hoping to locate Commander Pant Load.
The smooth polished concrete floors of Sam’s Club are my license to thrill, allowing me to scour the store in under five minutes. Apparently I am traveling so fast that one my Wife’s friends, shopping at that time found it necessary to report me and to let her know of my “recklessness.” (a topic of several upcoming blog posts.)
Little does my the Mrs know, but I wasn’t even in my motorized chair, I was in my manual chair, propelling myself. There is a difference.
Having searched all of the aisles and discovering no one I exit the store As I make my way through the gauntlet of can shaking children in their various school paraphernalia cluttering the front exit (the norm at most stores), I have, who I believe is the perp in my sight.
An older gentleman with a full head of gray hair topped off with a VFW purple sidehat. He’s wearing a purple VFW jacket as well with a Purple Heart Insignia. Around his neck is an Italian Horn pendant hanging from a gold chain. He reminds me more of an Atlantic City Casino worker than an honored war veteran.
I’ve seen this guy before, as a matter of fact, every time I’ve been to this Sam’s Club. He is sitting at a card table selling chances to win $100K in a raffle to benefit Veterans of Foreign Wars.
A young Mother with two in tow approaches the card table, reaching into her purse. Without warning her young Son stumbles and falls into the card table. Quicker than I can say “I smell a fraud” this former Rambo, is able to launch from his chair and prevent the card table from toppling.
Something smells bad at Sam’s Club, and this time that smell is not coming from me. I could be wrong; he might have fought in the “Sham Offensive.”
Reposted with permission from Tales from the Crip… Musings of a T10 Para
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Hi – I am not in a wheelchair but I also do notice when there are vehicles parked in the handicapped spots that should not be. I do believe that they should be left open for the people that truly need them…. Maybe talking to the city would do some good. See if the police would make a swing through the parking lot to see if the handicapped spots are being wrongly occupied. Just a thought.
I’ve noticed the people who do that, but the major problem that we have where i am is people parking over the wheelchair ramps! We actually leave notes on their windshields, cut down the number of sidewalk parkers considerably.
Allison & Lacey. I appreciate your comments and suggestions. Unfortunately I live Rude York, where people use a handicapped placard from their Mother’s hip surgery ten years ago.
Police can’t be bothered either. You call, you wait, and by the time they arrive someone else filled the spot illegally.
In this time of municipal revenue shortfalls, policing handicapped spots for abusers is like shooting fish in a barrel. Who’s going to complain? It’s a win/win solution.
Neidermeyer for Rude York Governor ’10*
*I’m Douglas T. Neidermeyer and I approved this message.
Maybe you should try this new app that allows for photos of an illegally (no placard) parked car to be sent to the municipality http://www.parkingmobility.com/ Just heard about it via New Mobility and thought it was interesting!
See, now this is a guy I’d like to hang out with. I describe handicapped parking abuse a hidden, underestimated national epidemic. One of my lifetime goals is to somehow reform the whole system to hinder the rampant, every day, every situation, every parking lot abuse. Being a wheelchair user myself (C-6/7 quad) who drives a minivan I’ve seen it all. Seeing people parking both illegally and ignorantly is something I see every day and it infuriates me to the core. At the least it forces me to park somewhere else/not at all, at most it ruins my day. My long research paper in law school was about handicapped parking laws. It needed to be 25 pages not including footnotes and mine ended up being 55 including footnotes because I got into it. The premise was that utilizing volunteer enforcement people/groups, in other words putting the power to ticket people parking in handicapped parking spots illegally in the hands of regular citizens, would make great strides to curbing the abuse. Handicapped parking abuse is a low level crime and the police only really ticket people if they happen to see it. I’ve got a bunch of other ideas that I’m calling my “Handicapped Parking Manifesto” that I’ll put together and post on my blog eventually. Keep up the good work though, man!
Shawn, appreciate you comments and agree on all points. Perhaps the ticketing writing posse could also be a partial commissioned based program. I make just a hair south of 100K and I can’t afford the latest insurance sham “upcharges.”
Besides the police ARE busy ticketing everyone else in the name of “safety,” which of course actually means REVENUE.
We created the beast, we need to geld it.
I think the most creative weapon I ever saw to combat the illegal parking folks … including people who seem to think it is okay to block curb cuts as well … was a sticker that was placed on the windshield that read, “You can have my parking space if you take my disablity”.