As I am writing this, I am also watching my kids play the Nintendo Wii. Actually, my oldest is playing it and my youngest is tormenting her. As you can imagine, there is some sibling issues happening now. Isn’t this how it usually goes for a child and their sibling?
“She hit me!”
“He is touching me!”
“My sister is pinching me!”
These are all the things you have heard before if you have 2 or more children. As I said, I am experiencing it now, but this got me thinking about something.
Do you try to give your non-disabled child just as much attention as your other child?
What things do you plan and do with your other child to help them not feel left out?
Well here’s the thing: usually, the child with the disability gets more attention; more time with Mommy and Daddy; more overall time due to medical appointments, treatments, therapies and such. Sometimes, you have to take along the sibling because you are the only person there or your spouse can’t be there.
I know. My wife and me do it now.
Luckily, my oldest is good with helping my youngest child because she wants to take care of her, but there are times she is “bored.” Taking along things to do works sometimes, but we have to think of different ways to get our oldest involved; it’s a challenge, but it hasn’t turned into anything chaotic…yet.
We are truly blessed with an older child that wants to take care of her sister, but I was thinking there might be others out there with a different story or are trying to find out different ways to spend more time with the sibling. Some ways I thought may help are:
- Better educate them on their level with what’s happening with their sister or brother
- Involve them more in helping out the other child in things around the house, appointments and therapies – make things fun for both children
- Take time out only for the sibling – make a day for only them by having one parenting taking them somewhere or maybe cook their favorite food, etc.
I know it’s not easy; I do it everyday. Your child with special needs requires more attention in general, but if you have more than one child, you need to somehow balance time between them.
So, how are you including all of your children in activities and bridging the gap of time between each of your children?
Photo credit: tibchris
I think it is important to have alone time with each child on a regular basis. It is hard to do, but even if it is just going for ice cream after a doctors appointment, or taking one child with you to run errands, the one-on-one time helps to make that child feel special.
Hi Jackie,
Yes, I totally agree. Even if it’s something small, showing some individual attention to your other children is so important.
Thanks!
Wow, what a great article. I think all parents feel this way regardless of each child’s abilities, passions, or interests. I know with our two adoption experiences, there were several months of attachment that meant more time with the new addition than the other kid(s), and you can bet there was plenty of open emotions and balancing acts that happened. it’s important to stay strong as a family. I also gree that one-on-one time is important when you can carve it out, even if it’s on errands or making cookies, or doing a yard project.